the following email to one of my writers this past Saturday morning, as the timestamp reads 4:23 am.  this was my like, dozenth email of the night, all of which, upon review, were written entirely normally and coherently…

“While normally I would agree with you that this would be an excellent campus event to cover, I feel like the timlieness of the event is less than ideal.  Like I have said before in my emails, this last edition will be on newsstands for months, until classes resume in the end of January.  I really need to keep our section relevant to the campus community who might happen to still be on campus duromg, so a review of an event having happened a month, having happened ages before a

“Student picks up the paper and finds himself slightly irrelevant to the issue at hand”.  I was really hoping you would take the music before you reviewed his article, but than where would we be.

As I said, I was really hoping for a bit of ham steaks  And maybe a stuffing friend as well.

Paul-William deSilva

Editor, Arts & Entertainment

The Retriever Weekly

”

never did get that ham steak or stuffing friend i was hoping for so badly…